The Swiss Saga, Day 2: Snow's Your Old Man!

More of my adventures in my journey from Switaly (Italian-speaking Switzerland) to, uh, Swermany. I would have preferred Swance, but you know what they say, that's just the way the swookie crumbles.

It snowed all night and into the morning, an naturally I discovered at that point that not only had I not brought snow boots, my regular shoes had contracted shoe leprosy and were falling apart. And of course, up next was a walking tour of Lucern. (The phrases you will be hearing most frequently in this travelogue are "walking tour," "took the train," and "for the love of Christ, can't you go five minutes without a cigarette?")

In spite of the snow, it was lovely, and I saw a bunch of 700-year-old houses and bridges, or in some cases, recreations of those things since the originals had burned down repeatedly. We went inside a Rococco church that looks like it was decorated with pink frosting, and I believe I genuinely found religion therein, because only a just and benevolent God could have made the church so warm and comfy. Actually, I think it was just hypothermia setting in.

Ate at same restaurant as the day before for lunch, had a meat pastry thing and raspberry sorbet for dessert. It was not quite as excessive as the previous day's fare, but it was still at three-course lunch, so make of that what you will. We took the train to a town called Einsedeln, and the hypothermia process was only exacerbated as we went north to even colder climes. In Einsdeln, we toured a monastery founded in the 9th century by a monk apparently named Meintraat or Mynd Rädt or Mind Rot or something, who went on to become the patron saint of video games (or possibly death metal). We went to the cathedral and then to the library, which has 200,000 books dating back to the 10th century. They included Bibles, journals of history, Malleus Maleficarum, De praestigiis daemonum, and of course, the Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. After surreptitiously snapping pictures of a few vital pages of the Necronomicon, we watched the monks chant the vespers and then left on the train back to Luzern.

And now, for some pictures that aren't of twisted non-Euclidean nightmares!


Oops, no, sorry, this IS a twisted non-Euclidean nightmare. Specifically, it's the lengths to which I had to go to protect myself from the piercing cold. Well, the half-bangs thing is just me being dumb. Anyway, while dressed like a Tusken Raider, I went out and saw...

...this monastery, which contained...

...this very big library, featuring books such as...

...these.

Night of the Living Ducks! Well, swans, mostly. The story goes that the first pair of swans was given to the city of Luzern by a visiting German prince back in ye olden days. The swans have stayed there ever since of their own free will, which makes sense, considering all the delicious tourists, such as me, they have to eat.