You Dirty Slat, You

I don't mind practically anything about my room, although of course the view could be nicer. And also the lights keep burning out, and the only way to get new light bulbs is to put in a work order to the maintenance staff. And there was mold on the bathroom ceiling when we got here, which maintenance fixed over the course of three hours by using the painstaking detoxification technique of painting over it. And the Internet jacks (both of them) are on one side of the room and my bed is on the other, so in order to have a semi-decent connection there has to be a cord running across the length of the room, which is often kicked or tripped over and thus comes unplugged. And it's located on the third floor, which adds another layer of Fate's impish taunts after a long day of hiking to and from class. And the halls echo so much that the sound of people walking up and down the stairs sounds like the Wehrmacht marching through Paris. And, of course, it's a double which seems to me to be barely big enough for one person to live sanely in.

...there are A LOT of things that I mind about my room, but there's one thing, Scarecrow, that I'm going to hate most of all:

The slats on the goddamn bed keep falling out.

Yes, the bed keeps breaking. It happened the moment I first lay upon it, it happened a couple minutes after I started writing this post, and it happens...IT JUST HAPPENS TOO FECKING MUCH.

Now, there are, of course, factors that I would think would cause the slats on the bottom of a bed to give way. These number two: One, really raunchy sex (I wish), and two, being extremely overweight (no...well, not yet at least). But no, this apparently is the kind of bed that just plumb don't work right. With regular and reasonable levels of use, this bed will collapse, on average, once per day.

I have seriously considered putting my mattress on the floor and being done with it, but due to the aforementioned eeeeetty-bitty living space, that would mean no access to the fridge and plenty of steps on my head. My other idea is to get a piece of plywood that would go over the bed frame, but short of stealing one from a construction site I have no idea how to get a very specifically-sized piece of study board.

Oh, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!